Self-Care: Unholy Rituals and Misconceptions of The Red Dragon

No matter what gender, we can all agree that it’s not easy being a girl. From an early age things start changing on and in our bodies that we have no control of. Your mind starts to race, body is morphing into some unknown creature, always sweating, hair growing and the constant cravings for food go unsatisfied.

We can agree that talking about your period isn’t the nicest or most glamours subject. BUT in 2021, women also shouldn’t be afraid to share stories. This prevents many misconceptions about our dear Aunt Flow who returns with a vengeance each month.

From the time you start this unholy ritual each month, there are certain things told to “help” walk through the process. We all know the myths behind periods and depending on your background or social circle, you may have a few of your own.

Here are a few I heard growing up from the very “helpful” old women around the neighbourhood:

  1. You are extra clumsy.
  2. Tampons will break your hymen and make you impure.
  3. It’s forbidden to take a bath always take showers.
  4. Don’t go camping because bears will smell the blood and attack you.
  5. Don’t touch flowers because they’ll die quicker.
  6. You can’t enter any place of worship.
  7. Don’t wash your hair it will leave you infertile.
  8. You can’t go swimming because sharks will eat you.
  9. If you shower with Hot water, your period will become heavier.

And the one that takes the cake… drum roll please….

10. Having sex during your period will kill your partner.

Of all the dumbass things to believe in this world, this list shouldn’t be included. Apparently once a month, every single girl turns into a demon from hell and we are no longer worthy of being in public or participating in life.

But besides the nonsense and myths, there is one thing that holds true for the majority of women and that’s craving chocolate. Whether it’s to make ourselves feel better or to stop us from punching our boyfriends, husbands or best friends. We stuff our faces with chocolate like it’s going out of style.

Period or no period, just do you. Be fierce, be free, go swimming, go camping, please for the love of God wash your hair and most importantly have sex if you want. You will not kill your partner with your period. (Notice I didn’t say during your period lol).

Eat cake, eat chocolate, eat everything and ride the period dragon for another month!

Ingredients

2 Egg Yolks

2 Large Eggs

1 Cup of Flour

1/2 Tsp of Baking soda

1/2 tsp of Salt

1 1/2 Cup of Sugar

2 Tsp of Vanilla Extract

9 Tsp of Vegetable Oil

1/4 Cup of Butter

1/3 Cup of Full Fat Sour Cream (Use Full fat, you’re on your period. Don’t be stingy)

1/2 Cup of Water

1/2 Cup of Cocoa Powder

2 Ounces of Milk Chocolate (or dark – up to you)

1 Bar of Cream Cheese

Optional: Caramel Sauce

Method

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
  2. Sift and Mix flour, salt, baking soda and cocoa powder.
  3. In a separate bowl, mix butter and 1 cup of sugar (Should look like wet sand)
  4. In a double boiler, melt chocolate until smooth.
  5. Let cool until it can be touched with fingers.
  6. Add melted chocolate to butter/sugar mixture.
  7. Mix in eggs and egg yolks until well combined.
  8. Mix in oil, vanilla and sour cream.
  9. Add dry ingredients to wet ingredients.
  10. Fill cupcake liners until 2/3 full.
  11. Bake for 8-11 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean.
  12. Let cool.
  13. In a large bowl, mix cream cheese and 1/2 cup of sugar until smooth
  14. Decorate cooled cupcakes with cream cheese frosting.
  15. Drizzle caramel sauce.
  16. Enjoy!

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