Breakups: Heartbroken and Thankful

Dedicated to the letters we should have written to those who broke our hearts, made us cry for days, had us question our self worth. This letter is meant for those who spent too much time waiting on someone who wasted our time.

You were supposed to be my best friend and now I know that none of this was real. I genuinely cared about you and you threw me away like I was nothing. You avoided me at every request, you denied me to be myself with you. You made excuses for everything. You had time for the pussy but not time to be in a relationship. You had time to hit me up at on my break at work or at off hours when it was convenient for you, but never when it was convenient for me. You had time to hang out with the your friends but never time to sit and plan our future. Because there was no future.

We were supposed to be there for each other and you didn’t care at all. It was all a lie. I shouldn’t cry over someone who’d do this for years. The lying, avoiding, being distracted and making me feel like I’m the problem when I hold you accountable for your actions or lack thereof.

You promised to not be like the others. That was a lie.

I just wished you would’ve been honest from the beginning because this wasn’t love on your end. If you did love me, you wouldn’t have dragged this on for so long with no end goal. I was a game to you. I have so many questions, but those don’t matter anymore. You weren’t honest throughout the relationship so I can’t expect you to be honest now.

You gave me hope when there shouldn’t have been any for us.

None of this matters and I don’t know why I’m writing this. You’ll never read it anyway or respond. You made me feel like someone would actually care about me, finally, and that was a lie too. I genuinely cared and now I’m crying for absolutely nothing because you didn’t truly care about me at all. The broken promises, the empty words of love, the endless mind games as though this was a game show and the prize was my sanity.

I could write pages about how I feel and how confused I am and what I wanted things to be like, but I know that you don’t care about me or any of that. Maybe you never did and that’s why you always ignored my requests for anything. It makes sense now.

You got upset because I started holding you accountable and now we aren’t together. There’s a part of me that still wants to be with you and that’s the part that rips me to pieces. I shouldn’t want to be with you, but I do or did and it’s the most confusing feeling ever.

You didn’t want me. You never did and your actions proved that over and over but I didn’t listen. It makes me sad and heartbroken.

This was my fault. My fault for wearing rose coloured glasses. My fault for being so naive and thinking the best of someone who was absolute first grade garbage. My fault for not seeing my worth, my value and my importance. My fault for forgetting WHO THE FUCK I AM!

Your actions affect other people’s lives and it’s horrible that you played with me like this and made me feel unworthy and unwanted.

But I thank you. I thank you for bringing me back to my senses. I thank you for hurting me so that I remember the bad bitch that I am. I thank you for teaching me what I don’t want in another person. What I deserve and what I won’t let happen with the next one.

I’ll see you in 2 months or 5 years when you show up in my DM’s because you scrolled through my feed and saw my loving partner or our gorgeous house with a dog or maybe because you just see me smiling. To which, you send a message asking ” Do you still think about me? About us?”. The answer is NO. I won’t answer that DM, but I will raise a glass to you in cheers.

So cheers to you for opening my eyes after so long. Cheers to you for letting the next one have everything you took for granted. Cheers to you for showing me what real happiness is…. without you.

Sincerely,

Your Loss.

Ingredients

1 1/2 Cups of Oreo Cooking baking crumbs (or graham cracker crumbs)

1/3 Cup of Unsalted Butter (melted)

1 1/2 Cups of whipping cream

20 ounces of cream cheese softened to room temperature

1 1/4 cupe of peanut butter

1/4 cup of powdered sugar

1 1/2 cups of semi-sweet chocolate chips

1 bag of mini peanut butter cups

Method to the Madness

  1. Spray 9 inch spring form pan with cooking spray.
  2. In a medium bowl, stir together Oreo crumbs and melted butter
  3. Press mixture into spring form pan.
  4. In a large bowl, beat together cream cheese, peanut butter and sugar until smooth.
  5. Spoon mixture over the crust and smooth the top.
  6. Cover and chill in the fridge to set for a minimum of 2 hours
  7. When cake is set, cut into slices.
  8. Melt chocolate chips and pour over cake slices.
  9. Top with slices with broken peanut butter cups
  10. ENJOY!

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