Life moves fast and the older you get the quicker it seems to pass. One day you wake up and you’re 30 years old. Almost a decade ago you had a clear picture of what your life would be like. Married, with kids, loving spouse, a house in the suburbs with a large yard where you can entertain friends, a healthy career and financial stability. Sound about right? This is the life we are told to have. The life of dreams and socio-expectations placed on us at a young age. An identity very heavily rooted in what others think.
But that didn’t seem to happen. At least maybe not entirely. You may be married, but are you happy? Are you stuck in some dead end job making ends meet and wanting more? Do you even want the house with the yard?
Usually around age 25 we wake up and realized that we feel stuck. Completely unsatisfied in a dead end job and bored out of our minds. Having an endless loop of nonsensical relationships with either multiple people or just too lazy to leave the person we’re with now.
We’ve all been there and heard the speeches from our elders. To be a “good and acceptable woman” we must be married and have kids. We must be stable and have a good job or find a man that can provide. Because if we don’t do all of those things by the time we’re 30, we’ve failed?
You’ve heard the, “Why don’t you have kids yet?” , “What are you waiting for?” , “There must be something wrong with you if you don’t have kids by now” or the best one ” You know the longer you wait, the harder it is to have kids!”. Because all of a sudden, everyone is a physician who can tell you what your internal organs are capable of. Yet in the same breath they tell you to have a good career, good education, be the CEO of a company and be financially stable on your own. Very confusing. Pick one because we don’t have time to do both these days people!
Mind you, everyone is entitled to their opinion and beliefs of what should be. But why make comments when they don’t affect you in any way. Maybe we should start asking questions back like “Are you going to be paying for this child?” “How will I get pregnant without a partner” or better yet just tell them to stay out of your uterus entirely.
I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t seem very fair. Essentially being told to forego our identity in order to perpetuate a “norm” created by people and a time that no longer exists.
We live in a time where women are able to make self-sufficient choices and do as we please without having to explain ourselves to every person on the street. If you’re 30, 35 or even 40 and you don’t have kids, THAT’S OKAY!!! Life happens and maybe whatever relationship you’re in doesn’t allow for kids. Maybe you’re not financially stable enough, because it’s damn expensive. Or maybe you’re just enjoying your life enough as it is that you don’t want a little one by your side just yet.
Besides, it’s not like the men out there are banging down doors to wife anyone up in 2019. They’d rather play with themselves and sponge off of everyone because they want to live their dreams to become so rapper or the next big investor of flavoured condoms. All in all, you get the point.
The advice for today is to simply find things that make you happy. At the end of the day when you put your head down at night, you have to be happy with how you live. Don’t get pregnant because your parents, grandparents and neighbour down the street keep hassling you. Get married, be happy and have kids when you feel it’s right, if it ever does.
Be happy with YOU.
1/2 cup of butter
1 cup of water
1 cup of flour
4 large eggs
2 box of vanilla pudding
1 1/3 cup of milk
- Preheat the over to 375 degrees
- Melt butter and water to a boil then turn to low heat
- Add flour and stir vigorously over low heat until mixture leaves pan sides (and forms a ball).
- Remove from heat and let cool.
- Add eggs one at a time until mixture is smooth
- Place spoonfuls of mixture on parchment lined pan
- Bake for 25 mins or until Dry
- Let cool.
- Mix instant pudding with milk.
- Put mixture in fridge for 1 hour.
9. Slice cream puffs and add pudding
10. Sprinkle with sugar